Good Men, Indecent Times
Be a good man. The world needs more good men in these indecent times.
“You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.” – Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight
This line in The Dark Knight comes from a broken, disillusioned Harvey Dent, a man who had once been a symbol of justice. After losing his love, his city, and his virtue—all at the hands of a madman who had escaped justice—he gave into despair and sought to harm others. The bad guy had seemingly won.
When fear and division seem louder than reason and empathy, it's tempting to believe decency has no place. Especially when we've seen the opposite rewarded—rhetoric and actions designed to provoke, manipulate, and harm others as a means of advantage, to win.
But malice is not strength.
Now more than ever, we need more good men committed to decency.
False Allure of Indecency
We live in a media environment engineered to capture our fear and attention. Outrage media thrives on the most extreme, emotionally charged content possible—because nothing sells like fear and anger.
To the profiteers of division, fellow Americans are no longer treated as neighbors with differing views but as enemies to be dehumanized and defeated. It’s not about winning hearts or solving problems anymore—it’s about attention. It’s about power.
Politics has transformed into a zero-sum spectacle where the goal isn’t effective governance but seeing who can be the most outrageous and vicious.
We've drifted far from “malice toward none, with charity for all” to "f*** your feelings."
And it works—for clicks, watch time, and even political power.
It seems we’ve mistaken the loudest and most vicious asshole for strength, and rewarded it. This noxious environment has had a profound impact, particularly on young men searching for identity and strength in all the wrong places.
But cruelty is a trap.
It feels powerful in the moment. It draws attention. But it doesn't inspire—it corrodes. It doesn't solve problems—it deepens divisions. It doesn’t create strength—it reveals insecurity.
Real strength is in being principled when it’s hard. Speaking truth when it’s inconvenient and unpopular. Standing up for what's right, even when you’re standing alone.
Jimmy Carter: A Good Man
This week, we honor President Jimmy Carter—a man whose 100-year life and legacy exemplified decency in leadership and service to others.
Carter devoted his life to helping others. From the Navy to the Governor’s mansion, from the White House to building homes with Habitat for Humanity, from championing peace to quietly delivering life-saving treatments for the poor around the world.
While opinions may vary on how to evaluate Carter's four years as President, there is no debate that the full measure of his 100-year life is that he was a good man.
As author Ryan Holiday points out in his speech at the Naval Academy: “the more you learn about Carter, the more you like him.”
Carter showed us that true strength isn’t found in dominance over others. It's in service. In kindness. In integrity.
Carter's steady moral courage isn’t just a historical footnote—it's a blueprint for what we need today. His example shows that decency is a legacy of strength that endures.
Bridge to Our Divide
A few weeks ago, after sharing about my recent trip to Italy with my parents, a conservative-leaning critic commented:
“Matt, I know you’re a decent man. I just wish you were a moderate or conservative.”
Never mind the fact that I created the Moderate Party of New York during my 2022 Congressional run—what matters here is the acknowledgment.
Despite whatever political differences this person believes we may have, they recognize me as a decent person. And that matters. They don’t see an opponent, an enemy combatant. But a fellow American who likely shares enough of the same values that they wish I were on their “team.”
It would be easy to take a cynical view of that comment—to see it as evidence that decency and character no longer matter, that all that matters is the tribe you belong to.
But I choose to see something else. A kernel of hope.
The foundation for trust and cooperation begins with decency. It's what opens the door for conversation. It allows us to create space for dialogue, to work together, to solve the many challenges facing our nation.
Decency builds relationships. It inspires others.
It won’t always help win every contest—but then again, the only contest that really matters is how we live our lives. There is no greater measure of a man than being regarded, especially at life’s end, as a good man.
The Crisis Facing Young Men in America
Scott Galloway and others have spoken about the growing crisis facing young men today. So many feel disconnected, without purpose, unsure of their place in society. And in that void, many have been drawn to Trump—not out of shared values but because they’ve been sold a false image of strength.
They've been misled to believe strength lies in tearing others down. That degrading, dehumanizing, and dominance over others prove worth.
This is a lie.
Real strength—real manhood—isn’t measured by how much you can belittle others. It’s measured by how much you can lift others up.
Protecting those who can’t protect themselves.
Providing for those in need.
Standing up for the vulnerable.
Those are the virtues that define strength. Those are the ideals men should strive for.
Be a Good Man
"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one." – Marcus Aurelius
We don’t need to debate what it means to be good, about moral relativism or comparisons to others. Deep down, we know the difference between right and wrong.
We know what decency, kindness, and truth look like.
Being a good man isn’t complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
It means standing for what’s right, even when it’s hard and unpopular. It means treating others with respect, even when they haven’t earned it. It means protecting those who cannot protect themselves—whether family, neighbors, or strangers.
Decency is not weak. It takes far more strength to extend empathy and compassion than to lash out.
To provide.
To protect.
To serve.
These are the hallmarks of real manhood.
Good Men, Indecent Times
We may very well face indecent times ahead. There will be temptation to respond in kind—to meet it with incivility and anger. Or worse, apathy.
But history reminds us—and so do our hearts—that there is a better way.
To be a good man. To be a decent person. To lead with the light of strength and kindness, even when the world seems dark.
Because when the noise fades and those we love judge us, we won’t be measured by our victories or our wealth—but how we treated others.
At a minimum, don't be an asshole. But don’t stop there, strive for more.
Be a good man. The world needs more good men in these indecent times.
Hi Matt. I hope you go around & talk to young men on manhood. This is an incredibly well written piece & young men need to hear this from a man with your character.
Hi Matt. I wonder where we've gotten to when you are not considered a conservative or a moderate at a stretch. I campaigned for you because I thought you had a better chance of winning in a district poisoned by Elise's rhetoric than your opponent, whose more moderate policies I preferred. This country no longer has a mainstream Left, only Right and farther Right. This "good men will save us" post that - as noted in the previous comment - completely fails to acknowledge women is a great example of how we are being pushed ever farther backward.